Sunday, March 13, 2011

Chapter 2

And now for chapter 2 of my bizarre thing.

Chapter 2

Voice: “So our intrepid adventurer headed east. Not knowing where the road would take him, only knowing that the world depended on his success.”

Sanrin: “You know I can still hear you.”

Voice: “Yes, but I had to fill everyone else in.”

Sanrin: “Who else are you talking about?”

Voice: “You know, the audience.”

Sanrin: “Audience?”

Voice: “Yes, audience, is that such a hard idea to grasp. You didn’t think that you are on this journey for your own entertainment, did you?”

Sanrin: “I thought it was to save the world.”

Voice: “Well that too, but that’s only secondary.”

Sanrin: “How is saving the world secondary? If this audience is so important, can I talk with them? Perhaps one of them would be of a bit more help then the current company.”

Voice: “Of course not, you are no where near omnipotent enough to break the fourth wall.”

Sanrin: “Is this another one of those times I should just accept your word as truth no matter how absurd it sounds?”

Voice: “You are a fast learner.”

Sanrin: “So why aren’t any of the other people freaking out about a voice from the sky?”

Voice: “They are used to it by now.”

Sanrin: “Then why did I just hear you for the first time earlier today?”

Voice: “Er…oh look!”

Sanrin: “Don’t change the subject, I want to know *oof*”

Voice: “Told you to look out.”

Sanrin: “I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention there. I didn’t mean to run into you.”

Elnar: “That’s alright, I wasn’t paying attention either.”

Sanrin: “Guess we will both have to make sure to do so in the future then, bye.”

Elnar: “Yeah…hey, want to see my sword!”

Sanrin: *Whispers to self* “Please don’t let that be some kind of innuendo…” “Eh, that’s alright.”

Elnar: “It’s really sharp and I can cut stuff with it!”

Sanrin: “That’s great…but I need to be…”

Elnar: “And what’s best about it is it’s all shiny!”

Sanrin: “Something tells me that you having that sword is about as sound an idea as a narcoleptic skydiver.”

Elnar: “nar-no-meptic? ...So hey, I’m Elnar!”

Sanrin: “Yes, I know, I can see it right there.”

Elnar: “Oh right, I forget about that thing. I try not to look at it too much, all those letters confuse me.”

Sanrin: “Why am I not surprised...”

Elnar: “So where are you going? I’m off to save the world!”

Sanrin: “You are off to save the world?”

Elnar: “Yeah, I found this sword stuck in a rock, and I know whenever a sword is in a rock, it means that only one person can pull it out and that person is supposed to save the world or something!”

Sanrin: “You pulled a sword out of a rock, and that makes you believe that you are the world’s savior?”

Elnar: “Of course, what else could it mean?”

Sanrin: “Oh, I don’t know, maybe that the sword was on display?”

Elnar: “Who would put a sword on display; you can’t use it to cut stuff then.”

Sanrin: “Ok…I’m going to back away slowly now, good luck with that saving the world thing.”

Voice: “Come on Sanrin, you need to find companions for your journey, and you two just happen to both be on quests to save the world, take him with you!”

Elnar: “You are going to save the world too! We can team up and I can go cut stuff…and…and…oh look a sparkly!”

Sanrin: “Have I told you today how much I truly hate you?”

Voice: “*snicker* yes, but at least it will keep things interesting.”

Sanrin: “Suddenly I’m starting to wonder if the end of the world is such a bad thing.”

Elnar: “Who are you talking to?”

Sanrin: “Oh nobody, just a voice with no origin who seems to take pleasure in seeing me suffer.”

Elnar: “Hello voice, do you like my sword?”

Voice: “Hi. Yes, it’s very shiny.”

Elnar: “That’s what I keep telling people, but they don’t listen to me.”

Sanrin: “I wonder why.”

Elnar: “So where is your sword?”

Sanrin: “I don’t have one, though I do seem to have just gained some magical abilities. Why exactly would you want to use a sword in this day and age anyway, why not a gun?”

Elnar: “Pff, it’s pretty hard to cut stuff with a gun.”

Sanrin: “I see…so what about the problem of getting shot before you get close enough to use the sword?”

Elnar: “Why would they shoot me before I get a chance to use my sword, that’s not very nice.”

Sanrin: “Of course it’s not very nice; the point of shooting someone is to kill them.”

Elnar: “Well yeah, so is the sword that is why it’s so sharp.”

Sanrin: “But…eh…well at least I know I won’t have to worry about him bothering me for all that long.”

Elnar: “So where are we going?”

Sanrin: “Seems east, right voice?”

Voice: “That’s what I said when the chapter started, didn’t I?”

Sanrin: “I suppose so, although I have no idea why there are chapters in this world.”

Voice: “It breaks the story down into sectional parts for the audience.”

Sanrin: “There you go with your talk about “story” and the “audience”.

Elnar: “Don’t you know about the audience Sanrin?”

Sanrin: “Great the autistic cavalier understands it all.”

Voice: “Now be nice to our new friend Sanrin.”

Sanrin: “It isn’t like he understands any of the words that have more then two syllables.”

Elnar: “So when do we leave, I can’t wait to try this thing out!”

Sanrin: “Wait, you mean to tell me that you haven’t actually used that sword before?”

Elnar: “No, this is my first sword, nobody would let me get close to them, or the axes, or the spears, or the toothpicks.”

Sanrin: “Great, as if things weren’t bad enough as it was. Well I suppose he would make a nice shield for me. As for when we are leaving, I suppose now would be as good a time as any. Do you need to pick up any supplies Elnar?”

Elnar: “Nope, I’m ready to go!”

Voice: “Well he certainly is the enthusiastic one.”

Sanrin: “I blame you for all of this.”
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Anonymous said...

This sucks.

Cyc said...

Now instead of just saying "This sucks", could you actually give a reason? If there is legitimate reason, I could understand. But if you are just saying it to troll (which I am led to believe so as you wouldn't even log on to leave a comment. But if I'm wrong, please state why.