Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Oh look, another heartless facebook scam

Internet scams have already become a commonality amongst the current web faring generation. They come in so many varieties. You have your Nigerian Princes, your international lotto winners, the poor starving people who inexplicably still have regular access too computers and a myriad of others. One can even make a game out of it to pass the time by creating a perverse form of bingo (but if you ever find yourself doing this you are required to include alcohol in some way. Why? Because you are someone who is sad and alone, searching through the detritus of the internet in hopes of amusing yourself. You really cannot get much lower then this and you know it. As such, you need something to dull that aching sense of worthlessness that has overcome your very existence). But recently I have encountered one that tries for a whole new low.

You might be asking yourself, is this really possible? Can humanity produce a scam so depraved that its very creation forms a whole new level of loathing for our species? If you have to ask yourself this, you obviously have not been paying much attention to what your fellow bipeds are capable of.

So to break you of your hope and naivete, I present you with the following. A new scam that has been spreading around the site Facebook. It looks a little something like this:

I encountered this lovely little bit of despondency when I noticed it as a linked status from one of my contacts. My curiosity got the best of me and I clicked on the link. I was then shown the above image and when I went to click the "read the full story" link (because I, for some inexplicable reason, have an irresistible urge to have every last bit of hope for my species to be painfully carved out of my ever hallowing sense of being) I was prompted to allow this article to pull my information from Facebook. Now my sense of self deprecation can only go so far before the reason centers of my brain send out an over ride to keep me from being a complete idiot.

I knew that if this story was legitimate, it would be passed around via word of mouth and not some application that you must subscribe to. After all, most legitimate articles do not require your to sign over what equates to your electronic soul just to read them. So I, being a relatively rational human, decided to do a search on the above article.

It did not take me long to find out that my rational self was right to be wary of this article. As it turns out, it is actually a Trojan hijacker. On top of assaulting your browser with the might of so many tiny Grecian warriors it also brings you to one of everyone's favorite source of wretchedness, the corporate survey.

Yes, someone out there is so inhumane as to have had what I can only conceive of as having this thought, "I wonder if there is any way I can use humanities sense of guilt and distress towards the suffering of our youth at the hands of manipulative monsters as a way to get a lot of people to fill out my companies senseless survey". The fact that after having this idea, the individual did not choke on his or her own vomit or was not beaten to death with a stapler by the first person who read his or her proposal tells me that in the corporate world, being a vile and loathsome toad is actually an admirable trait and something that will get you promoted.

The very idea that such people can come home and instead of crying themselves to sleep for being the very embodiment of evil that they have always feared they would become, that instead, they probably go around boasting about their horrid new idea to all their repellent friends who go about their lives thinking of equally repugnant ideas to con to the masses. This makes my inner child who had at one time, had hopes of redeeming humanity and finding actual goodness amongst our species. But is now left with only wanting to find some possible escape from these abominable creatures.

So it is all just a scam right? Everything was made up on the spot and it includes nothing from reality. Thus we can thankfully wash our hands from it and never speak of it again. Except for the fact that whoever it was that thought of this most noxious idea actually used the photos of someone who had committed suicide after her ex boyfriend posted naked pictures of her on Facebook. Yes, to try and make their scam seem more plausible, someone dug up the photos of someone who killed themselves over revealing photos on Facebook. Here is the original article as evidence as well as a photo used in that piece just to show you that it is, indeed, the same person.

Now you may take your time to yell, scream, vomit or whatever else gets the feeling of disgust out of you. This is people profiting off of someones suffering. Not only are they profiting, but they are re-animating a person who has already been laid to rest, dragging up all the old wounds and sorrows surrounding the event just so they can try and scam some people into filling out their survey. I do not think there are proper words for this kind of vile disrespect.

So congratulations humanity, you have just found a new way to make me revile you.
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