Sunday, May 1, 2011

10 (brain-dead) ways to withstand hurtful trials in life

There are few things that can get me in a mood for writing as finding someone's attempt to compile a list to help others and just eviscerating it with its own logical inconsistencies. While some may consider this callous or cruel, I think of it as something much more benign. Because of my mockery, some of these people may very well sit down and consider how to improve their writing and their own ways of thinking...Ok, that is utter bullshit, it is really just for my own amusement.

So today I have for you "10 WAYS TO WITHSTAND HURTFUL TRIALS IN LIFE". Why they are screaming the title at me I have yet to figure out. It isn't because of an addiction to caps-lock as the rest of the article is written in a more normal, non-yelling format.

This is a list of ways to stay blissfully happy in the Christian god despite living in a world where bad things happen. Unfortunately, once I realized the writer was serious and this was not just a sick joke, I found that the list did more to make me depressed than joyful. On the site, there is a long explanation following each item, but for brevity's sake, I shall just include the main item unless the text is too foolish not to share with you.

1. Consider trials as pure joy

Remember that time you came down with that crippling case of Giardia? Do you know why you were doubled over in pain, covered in your own excrement and wishing only for a quick death instead of enjoying your moment of bonding with one of god's wonderful creations? It is because you had the wrong frame of mind! Just think happy thoughts and you will find all that torment becomes a joyous experience you will want to share with everyone!

2. Remember that God never abandons His children

That's right, god would never abandon his beloved children! Which is why he has such a devoted priesthood that will do everything in their power to fill the children of the world with their 'love'.

3. Never doubt the goodness of God

In the midst of bitter experiences, we, like Job, should not stop in our services and faithfulness to God.

The author is right, Job never questioned the slaughtering of his whole family and his own torment for years on end and look what it got him. A nice new shiny family! His family 2.0 was surly better than the old and outdated models he used to have and never once would have grieved for the loss of such standard and boring models. After all, what are children other than a completely replaceable resource? So if you ever have those you love torn away from you, don't question god because if you are good you'll get a brand new set! And if you don't get them then you obviously questioned god's plan for you and didn't deserve it.

4. Believe that ‘God will change trials for your own good’

Believe that all things are for the better. Even the bitter experiences will be turned by God into experiences that are for your good.

At first I wasn't sure what the author meant here, but upon reading a bit of the accompanying text, I believe I understand. Apparently god knows what he is doing and if you were to get into a car wreck, break your neck and spend the rest of your life as a quadriplegic, it will totally make you a better person and teach you a lesson about...I don't know, the frailness of human life or some other crap to make you feel better unless you actually thought about it.

5. ‘Hardships are great boost for us to fulfill God’s will’

Yes, all your suffering, it is all to fulfill god's will. And what might his will be? Apparently to turn your life into a bad reality series while he laughs manically above us all.

6. ‘Sufferings prepare us for God’s Kingdom’

Imagine if other places held this policy. "Welcome to Disneyland, now before you enter, we will have to beat you with this bat covered in barbed wire until you pass out from blood loss. This way, after you regain consciousness, you will be worthy to enter and truly enjoy your stay!"

7. ‘God knows what is best’

Isn't this just a rehashing of the past four on this list? Has the author started to run out of ideas already or does he need to keep reminding himself that his miserable existence is the way his god wants it to be?

8. Do not worry about economic trouble

Countries the world over are facing economic downturns and here we see the real answer to everyone's woes. Just ignore it and hope it goes away! Haven't you been reading anything this person has written, god knows what he is doing and to question it is wrong. Just be happy with your debt and the constant fear of unemployment!

9. Ask God

Hasn't the author been saying the whole time to just go with what god is already doing? Wouldn't asking god for a bit of help or even asking him what the fuck his problem is be going against the whole idea of an omnipotent deity? In fact, is there any reason to pray at all in light of such a god other than to tell him how much you are enjoying your misery or perhaps a bit of ass-kissing in hopes it will appease the bastard enough so he might leave you alone for a bit?

10. Believe that God helps those who are in trouble

Because if you believe that god is going to help everyone, what is the point in intervening to make someone else's life a bit better? In fact, wouldn't doing so possibly be getting in the way of the suffering that god loves to inflict so very much (for their own good of course)? Is there any reason to do anything then? If god has it all under control why bother with that annoying empathy and all that hard humanitarian work when you could be sitting at home and enjoying yourself (that is, if god hasn't targeted you for 'misery duty' this week).

It is official, if anyone, anywhere agrees to this list in any way they can never consider themselves morally superior to someone such as myself who seems to think helping others is a good thing.
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13 comments:

Infidel753 said...

I wonder what would happen if the person who wrote this drivel were to go down South and recite it to a crowd of bereaved tornado victims. Probably get pelted with dead catfish or something.

The part about suffering preparing people for God's kingdom sounds ominous. If suffering helps prepare you for something, that implies that the thing you're preparing for will also involve suffering so you need to be inured to it. So is Heaven full of misery? If God is doing all this bad stuff to people for their own good, maybe he runs Heaven the same way?

Ah, well, logic and religion don't mix.

Cyc said...

It would be nice if such a reaction were true, but I imagine most believers there would either be in agreement or find the statements comforting. Not even devastation is able to get through the the mental defenses that religion has had generations to evolve.

I was thinking something similar about suffering while writing this. I'll have to eventually write something more substantial about it at some point.

Sadly you are right, doing so will only give one a headache.

Ahab said...

I can't help but wonder if this masochistic attitude toward suffering is a form of religious Stockholm Syndrome. Perhaps believers who think like this feel helpless before an omnipotent god who inflicts suffering on them, but they can't bring themselves to blame him for it, so they rationalize it. Some theodicy!

Cyc said...

Considering how many children in religious homes grow up in constant fear of hell, it wouldn't surprise me.

Amie Grace Teodoro said...

acingTrials#Jensinismo#SalamatPo.Blessing will flow abundantly in your life With love Peace Joy and blessed family. Just Continue what you are doing. You are blessed to become a blessing.
In personal Development Subject, I have learnd a lot , I learn how to be nice student, Contented that i have becuase that is the gift of god, Be love and Joy, And This subject is the best because , My teacher tells about (Good) How to be generoius, Show the important of God. That god knows what is best for him/her child, I have trust the word of god. If you trust god and respect other, a shine family comes to your life , be faithful to god, Because god is always with us god is the path to achieve our dreams in life. In my family there are lots of truoble , trials that weve encounter but all of those is have a solotion, and allready fix because of the grace of god amazing. All praises and thanksgiving in gods name. Salamat po sa aming guro na nagturo sa amin ng mabuting asal.

Mark Luz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mark Luz said...

FacingTrials #Jensenismo #SalamatPo There is no such word that can explain how thankful I am for knowing this kind of subject. Too many things I faced and discover all about myself. All my weaknesses, it gaves me an idea on how to overcome it. This serves as a guide for me to easily go and walk straight to my goals. Mrs. Evangelista unleased my true skin. She is the one who made my strong. She is the ruler of my life. No doubts, this is the best subject that made my SHS life completed. Thank you Ma'am! All your advices will always be on my mind, I'll promise I will apply all our lessons. ☺

Ella Mae Roque said...

FacingTrials #Jensenismo #SalamatPo In this subject I learned a lot, I learned so many things to do so far, and eventhough there's so many trials and error that I cannot uderstand the topic but I love it anyway. It helps me to develop my thinking skill my and to improve my attitude and so many more. I will never forget those lessons you share with us Ma'am and of course I will not forget you Ma'am. Thank you for giving us an advice and I know that someday we will see again and to prove that every lessons that you teach to us is a very big help to us. :) I will not forget you Ma'am. Thank you, I love you and God bless Ma'am :)

Jessamine Shane Juanae said...

FacingTrials #Jensenismo #SalamatPo In our everyday living, being in this generation is a tough thing for me but a big thanks to Personal Development subject for helping me a lot. This subject helps me a lot in facing all my trials in life especially all my weaknesses. this subject helps me to improve all my thinking skill, my attitude, the way on how I socialize with others etc. as a student this is a big help for me. thank you to Ma'am Jocelyn Evangelista for always giving us considerations to cope up with the lessons that we have missed and to pass all our outputs even if it is not on time. I know that we have been through a lot of things, and I will never forget all the memories that we have shared together. thank you for being a part of our lives ma'am. you will always be in my heart and i promise that i will apply all the lessons that i have learned in this subject. Thank you and i hope that we will see each other again.

Jessamine Shane Juanae said...

FacingTrials #Jensenismo #SalamatPo In our everyday living, being in this generation is a tough thing for me but a big thanks to Personal Development subject for helping me a lot. This subject helps me a lot in facing all my trials in life especially all my weaknesses. this subject helps me to improve all my thinking skill, my attitude, the way on how I socialize with others etc. as a student this is a big help for me. thank you to Ma'am Jocelyn Evangelista for always giving us considerations to cope up with the lessons that we have missed and to pass all our outputs even if it is not on time. I know that we have been through a lot of things, and I will never forget all the memories that we have shared together. thank you for being a part of our lives ma'am. you will always be in my heart and i promise that i will apply all the lessons that i have learned in this subject. Thank you and i hope that we will see each other again

Lendsey Papa said...

FacingTrials #Jensenismo #SalamatPo The beautiful things that I will not forget about this book is that it was full of lessons and advices that helps me and other teenagers to succesfully ocercome adolescence stage. Because adolescence is considered as difficult stage in one's life thats why it is very important to put it in our mind every part of it. While about our teacher Mrs. Jocelyn Evangelista, she always show us her beautiful smile even though sometimes we are too noisy that makes her irritate with us but still she's not showing it. I hope that I could be given another chance that you will be one of our teacher next semester ma'am

Marvin Colcol said...

#FacingTrials #Jensenismo #SalamatPo The first time I enter the subject Personal Development,
I already feel excited because this subject, from title itself, may help me develop my personality as a student, adolescent and a soon to be adult. And as we goes on to this subject, my expectations to it seemed to be right because every lesson gave me new ideas and views on different angles of an adolescent's life. Thanks to this book, new things were produced in my mind. And of course, thank you very much maam Jocelyn Evangelista for explaining very clearly and creatively every lesson in the book. I appreciate those "almost every meeting" activities and assignments because I know it somehow helps us develop and enhance our personality. Thank you very much ma'am.

clarksydneycalaramocorpuz said...

#FacingTrials #Jensenismo #SalamatPo The first day of school when every teachers represent their names and subjects i have already heard the nice and good subject that ill gonna love this is what they called personal development..I already feel excited because this subject, from title itself, may help me develop my personality as a student, adolescent and a soon to be adult. And as we goes on to this subject..This subject helps me a lot in facing all my trials in life especially all my weaknesses. this subject helps me to improve all my thinking skill, my attitude, the way on how I socialize with others etc. as a student this is a big help for me.. I appreciate those "almost every meeting" activities and assignments because I know it somehow helps us develop and enhance our personality and everyday living..I'm very thankful because you are always there for us to my classmates because God give us very beautiful,loving,caring,supporting and understanding teacher no other than Ma'am Jocelyn Evangelista for everything that you gave to us..Thank you very much ma'am..