I have learned that allowing me to think freely on a simple conversation can lead to…interesting… results. What did my brain spawn this time? None other then a new form blasphemy based on my own twisted form of logic.
It started by my spending time in between classes around the theatre/choral department. An introduction occurred and it was another Chris. There is a veritable plague of Chris’ upon this land. This led to someone asking what the name Christopher even meant. I responded saying that it meant Christ bearer. This got me thinking, there are multiple meanings to the word bearer. It could mean one who has something (like in a little jar) or refer to a human bearing another (giving birth). So this means that I either have a god-child in a jar or that I will give birth to him. The second one seems rather unlikely until we analyze it further.
Young are bore through the loins (as we should all know by now), but what could I, as a male, bear? Other then the obvious perverted ideas, I immediately came up with an answer, kidney stones. If I ever have a kidney stone, I will have no choice but to name it Jesus now.
So rejoice Christians, there is the possibility of a second coming of your lord, he will just be slightly smaller and more calcified then last time.