Class Holothuroidea, the Sea Cucumbers

The sea cucumber Bohadschia argus

Echinoderms, in general, are an often overlooked group of creatures.  Other than for being ubiquitous members of tidal pools and the ocean floor, your average person knows little about them.  One class in particular, Holothuroidea, is generally seen as just a curiosity despite having a series of downright bizarre traits and behaviors.  Commonly known as the Sea Cucumbers due to their cylindrical appearance, these scavengers can be found in every ocean.  Not only are they indigenous to all oceans, many species travel in herds that can reach numbers well over a thousand.

Like other living echinoderms such as sea stars, urchins, brittle stars and crinoids, sea cucumbers posses what is known as pentaradial symmetry.  This means that their body plan can be split into five equal sides.  At first sea cucumbers seem to break this rule, but that is only when looked at from above.  When observed on end, the pentaradial symmetry is easily distinguishable.  What appears to be bilateral symmetry at first glance is an intriguing illusion when you take into consideration that all echinoderms evolved from a common ancestor that possessed bilateral symmetry, a feature that is only shown in modern day larval forms. 

Your average sea cucumber feeds by sucking up ocean sediment like a living vacuum cleaner.  Using feeding tentacles, they pick through the sediment and the remaining substrate is passed out the opposite end.  A few species will go so far as to extend their feeding tentacles to pick pieces of food out of the passing current they position themselves near.  There is also one species that gains its nourishment through a commensal relationship with deep-sea angler fish, though little is known about this relationship. They generally propel themselves along on 8-30 small tube feet that make use of echinoderms trademark water vascular system which is essentially a body wide hydraulic system.  One subclass, Apodacea, has gone so far as to completely lose their tube feet and instead burrows through sediment with a series of muscular contractions along their body.

All sea cucumbers have an endoskeleton, but in most, it has become greatly reduced to little more than small ossicles sparsely numbered throughout the mesoderm.  A few species have adopted hardened calciferous plates covering their body for protection, but it is not common.  This leaves most sea cucumbers with a rather soft texture that makes one wonder what sort of cucumbers the person was eating who granted these creatures their common name.  Many sea cucumbers make perfect use of their squishy bodies when it comes to getting into tight spaces.  Their body tissues contain a modified form of collagen known as catch collagen.  In most animals, this provides tissues with a flexible, but strong nature by forming a network of interconnected proteins.  Sea cucumbers have modified this protein so that they can become viscous at will allowing them to literally pour their tissues through a tight crevice.  Once in, they can let their catch collagen reconnect, reforming their tissues into the orderly form it once was.

As if turning themselves to liquid wasn’t odd enough, members of the order Aspidochirotida have a somewhat…unsettling defense mechanism.  They turn their anus at an attacker and through a tear between the coelom (body cavity) and cloaca (the common opening for the intestinal, urinary and reproductive tracts), they expel their respiratory tree which is coated in toxins and a sticky material.  This process, known as evisceration, ensnaring the would be predator in what one can only compare to the most nauseating imitation of Spider-Man ever.

One would think having the ability to spew toxic innards out of one’s ass would keep any sane creature away, but one peculiar fish is not detered.  Known as the pearlfish, many members of the family Carapidae make their home within the confines of the sea cucumber’s cloaca.  These slender fish often cause no harm or benefit to their host and simply use the space to remain hidden within.  A few species have been known to…ahem…eat out the sea cucumber, but this behavior is rare.  A few members of pearlfish have found their home so comfy they invite in their mate.  In a disturbing twist, the pearlfish uses the reproductive space of the sea cumber as its own love abode.

For the most part, sea cucumbers possess few traits useful to humans, though the flesh of some species is eaten in certain oriental cuisine.   Sea cucumbers have also been a staple of traditional Chinese medicine for generations, though the effectiveness is debatable.  A study single has suggested that the fatty acids found in sea cucumber tissue could play a role in tissue repair, but the actual use was never tested.  Another study found an extract could be useful for internal pain when studied on mice, but there was no effect when applied for external pain leaving the validity of the study in doubt.  Finally, a recent study concluded that the Lectin protein (used in the binding of sugar) found in the species Cucumaria echinata actually inhibited the growth of the Malaria parasite.

Most sea cucumbers are dioecious, meaning they have separate male and female sexes.  A few species are protandric, which allows members of one sex transform themselves over to the other sex at one or more points in their life.  The average life cycle involves mass spawning into the current with the ensuing zygote and eventual larvae joining the planktonic drift.  About 30 species, however, fertilize internally.  Once the egg hatches, a feeding tentacle grabs the larva and moves it into a brood pouch for development.  Here they grow to maturity and either crawl out from where they entered or make a rupture out the back end near the anus.  This explosive birth is not fatal to the adult who possesses astonishing regenerative capabilities (after all, if they can re-grow their ‘lungs’ a hernia should pose few problems).

This article was written at the request of one of my readers over at Mad Mikes America.  Anyone who would have a request for an article, feel free to either leave the request in the comments section.  Thank you Morgan Williams for your request!

The real events behind Area 51

I was at a bookstore the other day and happened to pass by the rack of new releases.  I often take the time to check for anything new that might catch my interest.  One book caught my attention but I was also weary.  Entitled Area 51: An Uncensored History of America’s Top Secret Military Base by Annie Jacobson, I was torn between picking it up for would could be an intriguing look into US military history or running off in the opposite direction before the crazy inside the book could infect me.

In the end my fascination with military research and development lost to my wariness.  I later found out that this it was right to follow my instincts on this.  By chance I came across an article reviewing the very book that piqued my intrigue.  Written in Bloomberg by Andrew Dun, the author more than confirmed my greatest fears about this book and left me laughing at the insanity.

The book starts out as a legitimate history of a military installation founded on the heels of the Manhattan Project.  And while it stays within the bounds of historical accuracy for most of the book, one section takes a screeching left out of accurate territory into the twisted streets of crazyville.

Annie Jacobson cites a single unnamed former engineer for the US government who tells of an even more secret history involving what really happened all those years ago at a little placed called Roswell. Now for those who are up on their history, they know that the claimed alien crash was actually an accident involving project Mogul, which used high altitude microphones mounted on weather balloons to eavesdrop on any potential Soviet nuclear tests.  

But instead of explaining this already interesting story Jacobson claims her source informed her that this was just a cover up for what really happened, and it wasn’t actually aliens either.  Instead, what crashed in 1947 was a Soviet experimental aircraft.  This craft was built after blueprints stolen from a Nazi facility during the invasion of Germany at the tail end of World War II. The ‘alien symbols was actually Cyrillic writing, which apparently, no one at the US government facility had ever seen despite having access to some of the greatest engineering minds of the day.  The craft was built specifically so that it would crash at the military base to sow confusion amongst US forces. It was claimed that the hopes of the Soviets were that US researchers would spend so much time trying to reverse engineer the ‘alien’ craft and keep the event secret that it would slow actual development of US military technology.

To make things more interesting, the Soviets captured Josef Mengele who was forced to provide surgically altered “grotesque child-sized aviators” who were to somehow survive the crash and then climb out of the wreckage in hopes of being mistaken for alien visitors. The idea was to invoke the kind of hysteria caused by the 1938 radio broadcast of Orson Well’s “War of the Worlds”.

For those of you think this is all some big joke, Annie Jacobson closes this section of her book by stating that this revelation will gratify those of her readers who already suspected all much. Quite obviously she does not think much of the intellectual faculties of her readers. Who would honestly see this story as the most likely scenario behind the events of that night? More importantly, why have these people stopped taking their medication.

Atheists have better sex!

In religious debates, a common tactic is for the theist to claim that their belief grants them a sense of well being. They claim it makes their day to day lives are better and to be without religion, there would be a gaping hole left in them. Well a study by organizational psychologist Darrel Ray, Ed.D and undergraduate Amanda Brown have determined that any 'gaping hole' would have been supported by its own weight in guilt, at least when it comes to sex.

9,500 people fully answered the survey devised by the researchers to determine if their sex lives had changed since leaving religion (14,500 people, in all, participated but not all completed the survey). What was found is after leaving religion, their feeling of guilt after sex was greatly reduced. As an added bonus, 50% claimed to have had better sex then they had while being believers. It seems when you don't believe a magic man in the sky is watching you, you won't feel bad about getting it on with your partner.

The survey took samples from 94 countries though the majority came from the United States. The sample sizes came down to 5.1% from Canada, 4.7% from the UK, 2.7% from Australia, and the remaining countries never comprised more than .75% of the sample group.

What denomination a person held affected their level of guilt rather strongly. Those who came from a more fundamentalist background felt the most relief while more open belief systems such as Unitarianism had the least guilt attached to their sex lives.

It was also found that the kind of sexual behavior people would partake in would remain the same. So losing religion did not lead to new kinds of sex, just more satisfying sex. This is important to note as many who are locked in a faith believe the would become sexual deviants without the aid of their religion.

When asked about their sexual education, it was reported that those from more conservative households were the least likely to be informed, where as the more progressive and especially non-religious tended to be more informed about sexual matters. This did not reduce the age or number of sexual events, as both had approximately the same, just those from non-religious or non-denominational houses were more informed beforehand.

One expected outcome never did show itself. After losing religion, the guilt left behind quickly faded. Most reported there being no long term affects on their sex lives from having been a part of a religion. So we can safely say that it doesn't matter how long you have been a believer as once you stop, the sex will always get more rewarding

So the next time a theist claims that religion has improved their lives, you can whip out this study (hopefully only this study) and show them the fun you are having without all that guilt.

---------------------------------------------------
References:
Sex and Secularism
By Darrel Ray, Ed.D. and Amanda Brown1
IPCpress.com

The Sound Of Freethinking: #12: Big Brothel

With the song Big Brothel, Colony 5 has created an interesting bit of commentary on the pointlessness and disturbingly short attention span of the media and most of its viewers. While this song is six years old, it loses none of its poignancy to time.

We sadly live in a culture where the most moronic of us get some of the most attention (Glen Beck anyone?). Where all one has to do to gain some fame is act like an idiot on television and they will have all they could desire...at least until the masses grow bored and need something new to keep them entertained.

With so much going wrong in our world, how is it these fools can garner the most attention? Do people feel they have enough to deal with and just want an escape? If so, then all they are doing is ignoring the truth in favor for their own fantasies (a bit like religion, no?) I've heard this excuse many times and find it hollow and pathetic. It is to say that your own comfort is more important than the future of our species and the lives of others.  With thanks to the lovely Misa Akane for making the video

Those inexpressive faces
Displaying useless minds
Idiots with a tan
And one-year lifespan

I flip through the channels
I flip through different ways
of humiliation
Different freaks every week

And for us this seems
Remarkable and sad
That folk need
To be stupid, to be bad
To gain fame
A fake respect
a revotting reputation
is the key to the media nation

A famine in North Africa
Genocide in South America
Revolution in East Asia
Suppression in Malaysia

Peace process in Palestine
It's a battle of wits
There's no place in the headlines
Cause BB blonde got new tits

Adetomyrma venatrix, the Dracula Ant

For your average ant, work is grueling no matter what species you belong to. All working towards the common good and hoping the colonies lineage will be passed on, even if it takes the sacrifice of a few workers. But there is one species where sacrifice becomes a full time job.

To find it, you must search the Zombitse Forest. Yes, you are looking for ants in a forest in Western Madagascar that does not give you pause to consider the sanity of looking for something called Dracula Ants in amongst the brush which will be sure to be infested with tiny zombies. After the initial lamentations, you should be up to scowling out these tiny forest creatures.

Eventually you will find a colony of Adetomyma venatrix, the Dracula Ant. At first look you might be intrigued by the ants body form. Nearly a 'missing link', these ants resemble wasps more than ants. They have only one joint between their thorax and abdomen instead of three like other species of ants. They also have an elongated stinger as well as have lost the use of their eyes.

About now you are probably wondering why does this evolutionary curiosity have such a distinguished name as Dracula? Well this has to do with how they gain their nourishment. Normal ants have their larvae eat the food and pre-digest it for the workers and pass it along. But Dracula Ants are busy and need their nourishment a bit more...fluidic.

Hungary queens, drones, and workers need only chew open the head of one of their own young to find all the nutrients they could need. Their larvae have an abundance of blood, well actually, Hemolymph, which the adults of the colony can just drink their fill of.

When observed it is noted that the larvae are not fond of the arrangement in the least, as they try to crawl away when workers are present and tiny ant screams can even be detected as the adults drink their younger's vital fluids. The survivors then pupate into adult ants and continue the cycle of work and "nondestructive cannibalism".

Pseudacteon

What child was not given an ant farm at one point in their lives (or if you were poor, just played with the ants that undoubtedly crawled throughout your kitchen stealing what little food you had)? Spending hours watching them make their endless tunnels only to eventually grow bored and end up shaking the whole thing to destroy their painstaking work to prove that you were the superior species.

The ant farm: bringing out the sadist in children since 1956.

But when nature looks down on the tiny any, she doesn’t see hours of discovery and wonderment. No, she sees a seemingly endless supply of potential zombies. In fact nature loves infecting the insect world’s tireless little laborers, proving that even the universe looks down upon dutiful workers as nothing more than a disposable resource. From the Ophiocordyceps unilateralis, a fungi that forces its host to climb up a plant stalk above the colony and grab onto the plant with its mandibles until it dies and a stalk grows from its head to rain down its zombifying spores upon the hapless colony; to Dicrocoelium dendriticum, a lancet fluke that also causes ants to climb up plant stalks (but only at night while the rest of the colony is sleeping so as not to be noticed, like some sort of horrible were-ant) so that it may be eaten by grazing sheep and cows, its primary hosts. But the absolute most terrifying has to be Pseudacteon, a genus related to the harmless but ever annoying fruit fly. As we all know, evolution is not content to keep anything harmless when there is a way to turn it into a source of our deepest fears. The female of these tiny flies (about the size of an ant’s head) search for colonies of only one species of ant (the species depends on the species of Pseudacteon). When it finds a suitable host, it dive bombs the ants until it can grab one and stab its thorax with its ovipositor, injecting it with a single egg before flying off. At this point the ant is probably freaking the hell out, but other than having a crazy story to tell the rest of the colony that must be reminiscent of hillbillies and their stories of alien abduction, the ant is mostly unharmed.

As the ant is being told that it was just a crazy dream by its nest mates, the egg hatches and migrates to the head of the ant. It is here that it begins to feast on everything around it. As more and more of its brain is eaten away, the ant begins to wander away from the colony in a rather aimless fashion. A few days in, the entire contents of the head are eaten yet the body continues to wander at behest of its new master. At this point the ant is a zombie in the traditional sense, a dead body wandering about, and yes, only a head shot can ‘kill’ it.

Years of survival horror games have prepared you for this very moment.

Eventually the larvae is ready to pupate, but having the zombie body would just be a hassle, so it does what any self respecting source of terror does, it causes the head to fall off and uses the empty skull as a cozy metamorphosis chamber. It then emerges a fully developed fly and buzzes off to find a mate and continue the cycle anew. I’m sure this is exactly what Disney had in mind with that “Circle of Life” song from “The Lion King”.

To make sure you don’t sleep ever, I should let you in on a little secret. These tiny abominations that would give Ridley Scott nightmares are being bred in captivity en mass. You see, a particular species preys only on Fire Ants, a species of ant that has been invading vast areas of land throughout the Americas. To combat this, certain groups in the Unites States have decided it would be a good idea to raise huge amounts of these face-hugger flies and see if they might help control the spread of Fire Ants. Thus far, the project has shown no noticeable change in the spread of these invasive ants. But when the tiny zombie apocalypse occurs, we will at least know who to blame, we’re looking at you University of Texas at Austin. Why are we not surprised that Texas would be the one to doom us all.

Tennessee, protecting kids from the evil gays

Now I wish I had come across this sooner, as the news about it came out on the 21st of last month, but I had to mention it as it is a real threat to sanity. Tennessee, that ever so progressive state, has passed a bill from a committee to the state senate floor that would make it illegal to mention homosexuality in any way in schools before the ninth grade.

This bill is one that has been fought for by Republicans for the last six years. Created by Senator Stacey Campfield, and known as the "Don't say gay" bill, it states that:

"No public elementary or middle school shall provide any instruction or material that discusses sexual orientation other than heterosexuality."

Because we all know, if you just ignore something you don't like (or make it illegal) it will go away. Have a kid who is coming to terms with their sexuality? To bad, you better hide it because Tennessee doesn't want to hear about it or help you. This is the kind of idiocy created by people who honestly think sexual orientation is a choice and roving bands of homosexuals are out to corrupt their children.

This is not the first bit of nuttery from Campfield. Previously, he made an attempt to pass a bill that would require death certificates to be given for aborted fetuses. He was also behind attempts to force women getting an abortion to look at ultrasound images, eliminate the state's pre-kindergarten program and also make it legal to carry a firearm onto a college campus. Yet he still has quite a bit of support from many Republicans, which just shows how bat-shit insane they really are.

Upon hearing this, George Takei made a comment on his twitter once again proving his brilliant wit:

TN bill will prevent teachers from using the word "gay" in class. In response, I'm lending them my name: "It's okay to be Takei."